Bumper sticker truths.

People in Madison really like bumper stickers.

On their cars, in their windows, on their guitar cases...you name it. Here on the east side you've find all the hippie owned cars, marked with mufflers nearly dragging on the ground, some rust here and there and plenty of bumper stickers. Popular these days, some of my personal faves include "end this war" (thanks MoveOn.org) and "when clinton lied no one died." Mmmmhmmm, preach it.

So, yesterday I'm driving down University Avenue, and some big old white conversion van in front of me is sporting this sticker on it's bumper:

"TRUE Christians are Pro-Life."

Well, I was so thankful for this moment of enlightenment. Driver of unknown gas-guzzling van, thank you for setting everyone straight. Way to fulfill your job as a Christian. Way to keep up that judgmental stereotype about my religion of choice that I fight each and every day. Thank you. I am ever so grateful.

And how nice to know that you were so blessed to have God step down and proclaim to you what it takes to be a TRUE Christian. Since you seem to have such a powerful connection to the truth, please do enlighten me in a few more areas - what does God think of large vehicles that are killing the ozone layer? What is God's take on politicians who abuse the system of religion to sway votes? Oooh, I have a good one - do TRUE Christians believe in the death penalty? I guess it must be okay, due to that whole "eye for an eye" bit that completely justifies the killing of hundreds of thousands of civilians over in Iraq as I write this. Because, just so you know, as a Christian I too am pro-life - for mothers, children, criminals, animals, you name it. But I don't know that I've got it right, I just confess to myself and others that I'm seeking the best I can.

I've got a good one for the driver of that car - TRUE Christians are hopefully humbled enough to know that as broken, searching humans they possess neither the power nor the right to place judgment on whether someone is TRUE or not.

Ergh. And that is that.