Two of my favorite things.

Well, with the latest round of posts it might seem that I am just the stereotypical angry liberal. But, today I've decided to turn over a new leaf (for today, don't hold me to this comment). I could write books on the RNC and how Stewart & Colbert saved my life this past week, but I am not going to subject you to my rants. I am going to pretend it doesn't exist for the moment and remind myself and everyone else that I am compassionate and I do think and care about other subjects (albeit not so much as of late).

So, the new subject. This afternoon I watched the HBO documentary Autism: The Musical (see more at http://www.autismthemusical.com). I had heard about the film and have been excited to watch it for some time.

Wow. You should watch this film. Of course, it is especially close to my heart because these are the children I work with, but I am impressed with how well this film told the story of these 1/150 children's lives. And of course, in the film the children are expressing themselves and moving and singing and making a musical...talk about utopia.

In total seriousness, though, autism has changed the way I view the world. To be completely honest, I stepped out of grad school and into my job full of scholarly ideas, brilliant theories and a whole pile of naivity - of what the reality of dance therapy would look like and of what I would learn about myself. In just a week I'll have been there for a year, and the stories I could tell. More than anything, I am blown away each and every day by the commitment, resiliency and genuine love of the families and children with autism. Not to be just a big pile of cliches, but they really are the true fighters.

And, to bring an element of personal honesty to the situation, I've always wanted to have kids and have a family, and now, more than ever, I am too afraid to even imagine it. I watch the total unselfishness required by the parents of these children, and I am reminded again and again that I am much too selfish at this point to bring a child into the world, let alone a child with exceptional needs. And I am afraid, afraid because the nearness of it all is a constant reminder that you never know what God is going to hand you next. (And ah, how the lack of control makes me squirm.)

So, to the kids out there who talk with their eyes and their laughter, who love Thomas the Train and Bill Nye the Science Guy and Dinosaurs so much that they can't talk or think about anything else, and who hit and scream and cry because they just want someone to try to understand - these kids are the real thing. Watch for yourself and see.